Today is one month since the funeral. I can actually say funeral now.... Granny's Funeral.
This morning I was thinking, it was all about her, according to her. Mom and I have a special "11th" day. My birthday being September 11th and Mom's being November 11th. October was open, so that was her day to meet Jesus. Don't get me wrong, she would "say it is all about me" in a joking way.
I really don't know how to put into words what I feel. I do know I am reliving that day right now. I am thinking about each step. I have looked at the time and thought, this is when we went into the church and I saw her the first time since the day I found her. Then my mind went to when the preacher gathered us around the casket and prayed with us. They let us say our final good byes before he casket was closed for the final time.
I need to finish getting ready for Bobby to come today. If I could drive, I would be on my way to the grave. At this time one month ago we would have been on the way to the cemetery. That long slow drive is almost a curse upon the family. I feel like instead of people pulling over in respect of the caravan going slow, they should pull over because we are going fast. Fast because the drive is torment.
Today is also her brother Truman's funeral. I can't imagine going to it. Strange isn't it that he passed away less than a month after she did.
These words are streaming through my mind, maybe if I go ahead and write them down, they will calm me and give a little comfort...